Sunday, June 3, 2012

MY FATHER

I am 22years old and all my life I have always lived with both parents, my mom and my dad which I call him "tata". My father is not like any other father, he is so different and lives in his own planet.

He has been there living with us but neither of his children have had any bond with him. I listened to people complaining how much they needed a father in their lives and I wondered what is it that they need from a father that a mother cannot give. My mom has always loved and took care of me, she gives me enough attention and I sometimes forget that I have a father because my father is just there physically but has never showed any interest in ou lives. he never asks me of how I am, what i want for my future, he doesnt even seem to care of any other things I do. I sometimes feel as if marrying and having children was not part of his plans.

"my mom is my dad"
There are so many things that I want to say to my father and so many questions i want to ask him but i cant because all he does is shut us out. i need a father not a dad, i need more from him because we are all growing old and he is growing old but neither of us has a bond with him. he never talks about things that matters to him or to us, he never cares whether i make a mistake or whether I succeed. my father just keeps quiet and i sometimes feel like strangling him to get words out of his mouth. he makes me angry because there is nothing that hurts like "silent" . I feel so lost and numb when my peers talk about their fathers, the things they do for them as their children and yet i am leaving with my father but i dont have any happy tales to tell. we never have any memories to tell, I want my father to change, I want him to start caring and I sometimes resent having him as a father. I hate the feeling but I cant help it.

I NEED A FATHER, A REAL FATHER!!!